G321 - Initial script

This is an improvement of our script, we took the feedback from the our initial script and used it to make our script fit the drama genre better.

Images are shown of family videos and happy memories. Child's laughter is played in the background as well as Sarah calling out to Ella.

Park scene
Ella - (over the top of the images of the park and Sarah having fun in the park) When i was six, Mummy took me to the park and promised we would only go home when i wanted to. She said it was our special day, a day for us to enjoy. I remember her being so happy, I've never seen her laugh as much as she did that day. Not long after Daddy came and said he didn't want to push me on the swing. He then made us go home.. but i never said i wanted to.


Party scene
Ella - (People singing happy birthday, slowly begins to fade out and later comes to a sudden stop when Nick enters) That year Mummy promised me the best birthday party ever. She didn't let me down, she never did. She made the cake all by herself and was even more excited than i was! But then daddy came home from work and didn't sing happy birthday when everyone else did. Then he sent all my friends home, i never did know why.


(Sarah starts to look through pictures of Ella)


Ella - You don't need to worry about me mummy, I'm not in pain anymore, and I'm still here. Its you I'm worried about.


(Sarah looking through more pictures)


Sarah - I just want my little girl back


Ella- I'll never forget you Mummy, you're my hero


Sarah - (letting out her emotions) why do i feel like I'm the only one thinking about you and missing you!


(Sarah looks at a picture of Ella and nick and notices they look distant and Nick shows no interest in Ella)


Sarah - wait a minute


(Nick appears behind her, watching what she is doing)


Nick - what are you doing?

By Yas
Feedback

When we asked a variety of different people for positive feedback they said we used good use of language for a little girl, the script isnt too long  and seems like an opening,you can tell actors emotions by the words and we had detailed stage directions.

When we asked a variety of different people for improvements for our script they said to take out the line "wait a minute" as this line does not fit in a real film and make it clearer that Ella is a voiceover.

By Paige